One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Have you ever had a time in your life where you feel like regardless of how much progress you make towards a goal, you are constantly declining in that journey? From experience, it is probably one of the hardest things to happen.

To help explain this, I would like to share an experience- this is taken from an New Era article- May of 1978  by Brad Wilcox

It had been a one-step-forward, two-steps-back day for me. At 6:00 A.M. I tiptoed into my parents’ bedroom. “Psst, Dad, my alarm clock didn’t go off.” It was not until we were halfway to school that I realized my socks were each a different color, and that I had forgotten the homework I had stayed up until midnight to finish. Even though I slipped into the classroom only three minutes late, I was marked tardy by my smiling, but sharp-eyed teacher. You can probably guess that with such a terrific beginning, the rest of the day went downhill fast.

An unbelievable series of setbacks led to the final indignity, which occurred as I was running across the lawn to catch the bus for home. Almost as though there were a plot against me, they turned on the sprinklers.

By the time I staggered off the old yellow school bus, checked the mailbox, and plodded up the driveway, the only thing that kept me on course was the therapeutic thought of an afternoon with no obligations. Not one single thing I had to do. Just my own time—all mine!

As I drooped along nearing the house, I noticed a strange car. Upon shutting the back door and throwing my books toward the kitchen table, I called, “Whose car?”

“It’s mine and Dad’s,” came a six-year-old voice in answer. And who should come shooting around the corner but Aaron, my first-grade, out-of-town cousin. He sprang at me with a flying leap, wrapping himself around my legs in glad greeting.

“Uncle Dick brought Aaron along to help him,” Mom explained. Each time he came on business, Uncle Dick brought a different son, and this was Aaron’s turn. His first time. A big event.

Aaron is a beautiful boy. His blonde hair, blue eyes, and broad smile make me proud. He looked great standing there in little tennis shoes, faded jeans, and a gap-tooth grin that all but shouted, “I know you’re glad I came!” Ordinarily he’d be right. But not today.

So while everyone was caught up in conversation, I took a small year’s supply of cookies and started downstairs. Then I heard it. The big news was that Aaron was to stay with us the whole afternoon. My afternoon! I would be expected to spend my own private, precious time babysitting!

I slammed the bedroom door and turned up the radio extra loud, pretending I didn’t hear Mom’s call. Then I flopped down on the bed to figure out how I could make up a final in Algebra. I would have solved that, and other world problems, too, but the bedroom door was thrown wide. An eager Aaron was suggesting, “Hey, pal, let’s do something.”

“You go right ahead,” I muttered, turning my head away. Aaron pulled on my pant leg. “C’mon, Brad, let’s go for a walk.”

“Oh, joy, a walk!” I thought with a thud. But who could resist that full-face grin? Off went the radio, on went my jacket, away went my afternoon. Aaron grabbed my hand, dragged me up the stairs and out the door.

With explosive excitement Aaron began to show and explain all the mysteries of the world. Holding a dandelion under his pixie chin, he explained, “You know, if you like butter, you’ll get a yellow shadow. Try it, Brad.” And sure enough, I like butter.

Aaron’s next nature lesson concerned a cunningly soft, striped caterpillar discovered by fortunate accident. With profound observation Aaron remarked, “The reason caterpillars have so many legs is cause their moms had lots of legs, too. All babies are like their moms.”

As we built finger bridges for our caterpillar to make its ticklish way, my excitement grew to match Aaron’s. I began to see the world through freshened eyes. I had forgotten how much fun climbing a tree could be, or playing pirates in the leafy branches. The game was barely used before Aaron traded it in on a new entertainment.

“Look at those neat lines, Brad,” Aaron called, as he heaved a fistful of small pebbles into a spring puddle. They made neat ripples, and I watched them ripple and wear out against the shore. I stood wondering how I could have let myself forget all this. How could I have become so grown-up-busy as to forget the black-bordered pastel of butterfly wings, the crisp smell of wild flowers, the snow-nourished spring greenery of my mountains? How could I have passed them by day after day?

I had forgotten how high you can go on Grandma’s swing, or how good the sun feels after months of winter bundling. I had become so mired with mundane problems, I had forgotten to enjoy life. Only 16 years old and already I was so engulfed in monumental anxieties, I had simply forgotten small pleasures.

I picked up a pebble to jar the stillness of the small pool again. Then I noticed that Aaron was kneeling down all curled into a small-boy ball.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m being a rock. Can rocks feel, Brad?”

“Well, you’re a rock. How do you feel?” By now I was chuckling.

“I feel hard. C’mon, Brad. You be a rock, too.”

It seemed like forever that I lay curled up in the sun with a slight breeze creeping beneath my jacket. I loved it. I hadn’t taken the time to get that close to my earth for so long.

Aaron, the rock, was first to break our stony silence. He whispered, “Didn’t God make a beautiful world? And all for us. Boy! He must love us rocks.”

“You bet!” I agreed as I draped Aaron, the all-American twerp, around my neck with a swoop of joyful energy. Life was suddenly fresh, new, beautiful!

I was sorry to see Aaron go that evening. Really. What a world of good he had done his doddering old cousin as we had stretched out together on that moist, grassy hill, with eyes for nothing but the cloudless blue sea above. His chubby hand had reached for mine.

“Hey, Brad, let’s always be pals just like we are now. Pals forever.”

Behind my eyes I felt tears forming, childlike tears of joy. I rolled over to squeeze that miniature boy wonder.

“Yeah, pals,” I pledged. “Pals forever.”

I aboslutley loved this story! Just like Brad, I think that there is something that we can learn from those days that are one step forward, two step backs. We can learn that there is still good in the world. We can learn that there even the days may become harder and harder, things will eventually work out. We will be able to figure things out and when those situations become hard, we have to remember why we started this entire journey. I don't believe for one minute that this field- or any field- for that fact is easy.Everything has it's ups and downs and when you push through those downs and the hard ups, you will find the greatest reward at the end. Never give up and never stop chasing what you want. Not for one minute. 

Mastery

Have you ever considered yourself a "master" of something? I think often times people joke about being a master but deep down, they probably don't consider themselves one. So what makes you a master? Or a master over business?

The definition of mastery, in my eyes, is the fact that even though you may have a good thing going, that you never stop trying. Never stop progressing, and most importantly never stop working to become the best that you can be.

Countless times there are stories of people who failed over and over again but they kept trying. They continually put their best foot forward and tried over and over again. It's not easy and I don't think that anyone will ever claim for it to be but the outcome is so worth it.

Can we all be masters? Yes. But will we? Maybe. Don't stop trying to improve just because you have reached a great goal. There is no progression in our lives without the constant push to become better. 

Entrepreneurship and Family Life: The Ultimate Balancing Act

Careers and family life are two things that when discussed as parts of our lives, have to co-mingle. There flat out, isn’t a way to leave the two separate. When you talk about your career, you are also probably talking about your livelihood- your mean of providing for your family. People do things that they love, but they are generally making money at the same time to help support either themselves or a family if they have one. In this religion, family is important and odds are you have one. Do you want to spend your entire life at work? No. I don’t care how passionate a person is about a project or a piece of their life, a break is needed.

                Now, in the video section from Standford, the professor discussed how rules have to be made. He even gave a reference to where you could find those rules. I loved that idea. Life isn’t complete without rules and according to him, rules are necessary to maintain family life and work life. I also loved that he pointed out that if you are single and are choosing to do a start-up project, stay single. That may come off harsh but it’s so true! I have never completed a start-up project obviously but I have heard of people who have lost their families or relationships over them. It’s too much stress to put on people- especially those you love. Who wants to constantly be put off for work? I know I don’t. It gets old and that’s why people walk. Think about where you are in your life. Is now a good time? Would this project be better suited for a team of people who could help you rather than doing it alone? What rules will you make? Is dinner important to you or your loved one? These questions have to be asked and honestly evaluated.

                The final thing that I want to touch on is balance. Not only balance between work and family but balance between work and God. God placed us upon this earth and without Him, we are nothing. I love that concept; that we will always need His help and His guidance regardless of the journey that we choose to take.  Jan Newman pointed out that we are never too busy to turn down a calling. We are never too busy to say no to the Lord and if we are, reevaluate and take something out.  It blows my mind at times that people could turn down those blessings for other worldly things. When we become too busy for God, we are too busy. Don’t ever forget who gave us everything and how he relates to our business careers and aspirations. 

Your dreams and Reality

When reading the article about the greeting card line, it lit a fire within me. That sounds cheesy,  I know but to be honest, it’s true. Erica Mills had a passion; a talent; one that started when she was much younger than when she actually achieved that goal. She worked many different jobs and didn’t actually get a degree in what she ended up pursuing. Ironic? I really don’t think it is! This is my point this week. Do you have a dream? Yes. How many times have I said to chase it? Multiple. Do I mean this very second? Today? No. Why not? Because. There are often so many steps to getting there. I don’t think that starting a business, chasing THAT dream requires that you do it straight out of college. Do some choose to do that? Yes, and that is great! However; I think that often times we have to do multiple different things. Find something we enjoy but maybe not something that is our passion and focus your life and energy on that for a while.

                I’m obviously not an expert on this subject, which was probably a given when you found out that I’m only a junior in an undergrad program. I’m just another student trying to find their way. However; I do think I’ve figured a few things out. Very rarely do people who start a business straight out of college, without any prior experience find success. That’s a sad thought to have but it’s true. Just as Erica had to go do something else and start slow, we do too! There’s always that thought that we need to go big or go home but here’s some news. Go too big and you will go home. Chances are broke and heart broken. We have dreams, yes. But when those dreams come into our lives, consider the realistic view of them all.  

                As long as I have this blog I will most likely always preach- “Chase Your Dreams” “Be Proud of Your Successes” and this post isn’t to say you can’t do that but sometimes that dose of reality is hard to swallow. Don’t let it get in your way but don’t let it blind you of what the future truly holds. 

Happiness, Careers, Entrepreneurship and the Ultimate Match Up

       

Just like any other career, you have to put your whole heart into it. What will you make of yourself? It’s hard to know where we will go or what will become of us but I can guarantee that if you don’t find something that you love to do and that you are good at, what you consider success in this life will be difficult to find. This week, much of the focus was on finding something that you love, something you excel at, and something that you can be paid to do. After combining those things, the focus was placed on making smarter choices and not necessarily working longer hours. When you find something that matches all of those things, I firmly believe that the outcome will be extraordinary.

      Following this lesson, I also came to realize that what might meet those objectives now, may not meet them later in your life. We all change. Life changes who we are and what makes us happy and it’s so important to pay attention to those things. If you aren't happy now, find something that does make you happy! This life is incredibly short; too short to spend any length of time unhappy. Chase those dreams but while chasing them, remember who you are and why you started chasing them to begin with. I have seen so many people that are doing a certain degree because that’s what their family wants or because it makes more money but this week, we learned that even if you are making tons of money, if you aren't finding fulfillment in those areas, you still are going to be missing something. Money is important but your happiness is more important. Never forget that. 

Ethics and Business Risks

The business world is often described as a dog-eat-dog world. It's a scary place out there. So much competition and drive. So many dreams trying to be achieved. Among all of those different aspects, what would you say is the most important thing to achieve in this process? ETHICS! The big E word. I would definitely say you could base everything (okay almost everything) off of ethics. Start from the bottom up. Work your way to the top and do it honestly and ethically. It may be harder than doing it the other way but it will be so worth it in the end. 

Back in High School I worked for a company where everything- paperwork wise, was all falsified. When I first became a manager, I was so scared to sign reports at night saying I had completed certain tasks because eventually, I knew things were going to fall apart but those reports stated otherwise. I left to attend college, corporate came in and ultimately found out what had been going on. Employees were let go and other plans were put into place. How hard is it to not sign a piece of paper if what you are claiming is untrue? Not very hard. It cost people their jobs. I look back at that often and wonder what would have came of me had I not been around. Ethics is always the way to go, whether it takes longer, costs more, it's work it in the end. 

Among other things discussed this week, was business risks. This is a hard one especially for those just getting on their feet. You finally have the financing for your business but you need just a little bit more. Do you go back and ask for another loan or do you invest your own money? You invest your own. If you aren't willing to put your personal money in, then maybe it isn't a good investment to begin with. People are stingy with their own money. Not so much with others but more than not, you don't want to throw away your own hard earned money. Look at the outcomes, look at the investments and decide if this is a good enough venture for not only the banks money but your own. 

Business is about tactics but I also think it's about heart. You have to use your brain but sometimes it is essential to use your heart also. 

The future of me

Going through the course materials, I think it is probably at the back of most student's minds; at least mine, is how little can I do and still pass. Going through these activities I chose to look deeper within myself and find what I can take from this course. Creating the bucket list of 50 things to do before I die, changed my outlook on where I am going and what I am doing. Are you chasing your dreams? I challenge you to create a list. Not just a cliche list of the things everyone wants to do but dig deep. Find your passion. Find your love and figure out how you're going to achieve that. 

Randy Pausch chased his dreams. From a very young age of going to DisneyLand. Ultimately, he was fascinated by what was there but instead of saying "hey this is fun" he instead said "I want to create this". That's where it began with him and that's where it begins with each and everyone of us. You have a dream? Chase it. Don't sit by and let someone else achieve it or beat you to it. You want it, go get it! And how bad do you want that dream? There in lies the success in my eyes. I often thought of being a doctor. Helping save lives. Did I do that? No. Why? Because I wasn't willing to take that kind of schooling to get there. Is your dream worth chasing? ABSOLUTELY. But will you? That answer is in your hands and your feet. I never knew that I could be so passionate about something until I looked at these people that ultimately changed their own lives because they had a dream.